Funerals

So I don’t think anyone enjoys funerals. Tomorrow I have to attend the second funeral of a former student. Life is not supposed to work that way.  I’m not supposed to be attending the funeral of my students. I haven’t really been teaching that many years because I came into my career later in life. A lot of teachers are lucky enough to spend years teaching before they ever have to deal with the untimely death of a student. In a little over eight years I have lost one to racing, one to suicide and now one to cancer. I have had so many wonderful students and I am lucky enough to keep up with them through social media. I watch them get married, have children and even graduate college. I have gone on so many adventures through my students. I honestly can’t imagine doing anything else for a living but today I am sad to be a teacher. I am sad to know that one of my special students lost his battle with cancer. Students are supposed to outlive their teachers just like children are supposed to outlive their parents. I am thankful that I will be able to say goodbye tomorrow with many of my former students but I am also saddened that the world has lost such a special soul. RIP

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Friends

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This is Maria Eugenia and she is an amazing teacher and someone I hope I will always be able to call friend. I am working with her at San Simon University in Bolivia. Her classes are great and I can’t say enough about her students! This whole experience in Bolivia has been amazing and it has a lot to do with this woman. We get along so well and I honestly feel like I could talk to her about anything. It is so funny because sometimes you meet people and you just click. She is Catholic and I’m protestant but I have found that we can easily talk about our faith. I have had some  amazing things happen to me since I’ve been in Bolivia and I know God is the only one who could have made all these things happen. She told me today that God is blessing me because of what I’m doing in Bolivia. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing that much but I think to these students it means the world to them that I’m here. I could have spent my summer so many ways but I’m so glad I chose to spend it working with students in Bolivia. This has truly been an experience of a lifetime. I think I finally found my calling. I know I have to finish raising my children but once they are grown I think I  would like to do some missionary work. I know I should be able to combine teaching and missionary work together. I’m getting so much more out of this experience than even the students are. My pastor said when you reach out and help others that the gifts you receive are very often greater than the gifts you give.

New Beginnings

So today I was offered a new job.  It is not entirely official yet but I’m so excited about the opportunity. Last year was not a good year in any way shape or form! This job will give me the opportunity to start over with a clean slate. I will no longer be working with my ex. I won’t have to deal with the red-headed tyrant that has been my boss for the last year. I’m actually completely in shock that this whole thing has happened. Less than a week ago I wasn’t even thinking about this job and now today the associate principal offered me the job. Its crazy because this year so far has included all sorts of new experiences. I went to Spain on a trip with educators that I didn’t know for a week. Now I am in Bolivia working in a country where I didn’t know anyone or the language. I never dreamed that this year would bring yet another new experience into my life. I can’t wait to see what else the future has in store for me.

Last Night at Home

So I stayed up pretty late last night trying to get everything ready for my trip and then I was at 7. I had to take my dogs to the vet, go to the bank, get a pedicure and then do some last minute shopping for the trip. This afternoon I went to see my mom so that I could say goodbye and take her my plants. After all the running around I’ve done today, I am finally at home trying to relax before I leave tomorrow. I realized that by 7pm I was already exhausted from all the errands I had to run. Now I am sitting here contemplating what tomorrow will bring.  What is it going to be like to travel to another continent where I don’t even know the language? What will my host family be like? What is it going to be alike to teach college age students? I know that the whole experience in Bolivia is going be unique and different than anything I have ever been exposed to before. I am anxious and excited all at the same time.  It is so weird to think about all my family and friends going on as normal while I am so far away. I guess a part of me is worried that all my friends will forget about me while I’m gone.  It sounds a little ridiculous but I guess a healthy dose of insecurity isn’t a bad thing considering what I am about to do. I plan to write as much as I can but I have no way of knowing how practical that will be.  I probably won’t be able to write every day so my entries may be longer. I want to make sure that I document all my experiences through blogs and photos. I consider this a once in a lifetime kind of adventure so I want to make sure and enjoy it. I still haven’t heard about the other job which is extremely disappointing but I know in my heart that God will protect me and lead me to the right career opportunity for next year.  I will approach next year with a positive attitude regardless of whether or not I am at my current school or a new school. Life is short and honestly my job is not the most important aspect of my life.  My family and friends are much more important to me. I plan to spend even more time with my kids next year. I want to have lots of great memories so that in five more years when they are both in college, they will look back on this time as family bonding in the best way.

Saying Goodbye

So today was my last day with my ESL 1 students. They were all so sweet and wanted to have their picture taken with me. I usually don’t like to take pictures with students but today I made an exception. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I won’t be their teacher next year. The group of students I had this year were great because they worked hard and made so much progress. It is so hard to believe that ESL is being taken away from me when my numbers were better this year than in years’ past.  I have resigned myself to my fate. I’m not happy about what my job holds for me next year but I have to have faith that God knows what he’s doing. I still haven’t found out about the other job so all hope isn’t lost. I really hope I find out about the job this week before I leave on Sunday. My best friend helped me move some boxes from my classroom today. The one thing I decided was that I was taking all my personal stuff home this year since I’m not sure what is happening next year. I do know that if I stay at my current job I will have to change rooms.

Now I am in a quandary because I really don’t want to go to graduation Saturday night. I feel a little guilty for thinking about not going but I have so much to do on Saturday to get ready for my trip that it seems pointless to go.  My AP told me today that I should really go because it’s only an hour. I don’t know what I am going to do but I will have to decide before Saturday.

Last Full Week of the School Year

So today marks the end of my last full week of school. It is so hard to believe that I have almost finished my eighth year of teaching. I am still so uncertain about what will happen next year.  I haven’t heard about the other job yet but I know that if I stay at my current job I will be completely miserable. I leave for Bolivia in nine days so I really hope I find out about the job this week. I am trying really hard not to get stressed out about my job for next year. My new principal has completely changed our English department and it will be insane if I have to stay.

Today I saw my 7th period class for the last time. I know that I should be sentimental about it but I am so glad that I don’t have to deal with them anymore. I have all their grades done but I’m still not done grading the research papers for my 4th period class. I guess I will have to take care of that on Tuesday. I will also have my last LPAC Meeting on Tuesday.  I can’t believe that I won’t be teaching ESL next year. I guess whether or not I get a new job I will still have a unique experience next year since everything is changing. I wrote several notes today to my fellow teachers because I just felt the need to say thank you. I’m not sure what will happen with the job but I feel like things are going to be different next year regardless.

On another note, I have been binge watching the first season of “Gotham” and I love it. I love that all the villains appear in the show as children or regular people. I am trying to finish watching the show before I leave for Bolivia. My daughter and I have both been watching it. It is strange how life works. I wonder how I am going to feel when I get back from Bolivia in July.

Last Monday

So today was the last Monday of the school year. It started off kind of rocky this morning but it ended up okay in the end. Friday is the last I will see all my students.  I’m really looking forward to being done with my 7th period class.  I was trying to talk to them today about due dates and they couldn’t even be bothered to listen. That particular class has pretty much been the bane of my existence this whole semester. I still haven’t heard about the new job but I’m trying to stay hopeful.  I need a change and I really hope the new job is what I need.

Interview Jitters

So this morning I called in at work for a half day so that i could go on an interview.  I feel a bit guilty about it but I really didn’t have a choice.  I don’t have a good relationship with my principal so it isn’t like I could be honest with her. I think she has probably already gotten a phone call from the district I am interviewing with but I still don’t really feel comfortable talking to her about it. I’m so nervous about this interview because for the first time in eight years I really need this job. I need to get away from my old school. I think it is so easy to get comfortable in a job and then you stop growing. My job no longer holds any new challenges for me.  My principal has lead me to believe that if I stay at my current school then I will have any less challenge next year professionally.  She intends to test the bounds of my emotional strength by putting me on a growth plan and forcing me to have meetings with her every three weeks. Hopefully the interviewe will go well and I can start a new challenge at a new school next year. I am excited about meeting the principal because we share the same alma maters.  She went to UNT for her undergraduate and to UTA for her master’s degree. I just wish it wasn’t raining so hard this morning. I know that rain rejuvenuates the earth but it is such a pain when you are trying to make a good impression.

Lapses of Time

So I haven’t written in over a week.  I have been sick and incredibly busy with life. I have continued to try and do the best I can at work despite the fact that I know my principal hates me.  I got some exceptionally good news yesterday when I got a call from a district opening an Early College High School next year.  I’m a little nervous but I have an interview with the principal of the new school on Thursday morning. I applied for the position on a whim never expecting to hear anything back from  them. This job would be a whole new experience and challenge but it could be very good for me. I am so ready for a change and this might be the first step in making that happen.

On another note I am completely single again.  I leave in like two weeks and my focus right now is on getting ready for my upcoming trip. I can’t wait to be done with school and on an airplane discovering another part of the world. I have never been to South America so it is definitely going to be an adventure. It is funny how a few months ago I thought I needed a relationship and now I realize how much better I am on my own. My life is so much less complicated when I don’t have a man in my life.  I have also managed to make an actual break from my ex.  I haven’t talked to him in about two weeks and I haven’t even hardly seen him at work.  I have intentionally stayed away from places that I expect him to frequent so that I don’t have to deal with him.  He’s a good man but I need to make a final break.  We are never going to be together again so it is pointless to let my feelings be on a roller coaster all the time because of him.  I don’t need to spend time with him because it just makes things harder in the long run. Spending six weeks in Bolivia this summer is going to really be good for me.  It is time for me to branch out and explore new things and experiences.

 

 

Next Year

So for the last couple of months I’ve been worried about whether or not I will still have a job next year. I finally got word from my principal that I have a job but it isn’t one I want. My principal has taken away over half of my job.  I will no longer be the yearbook sponsor and I will no longer be teaching ESL!  I got hired at my school to be the ESL teacher so I can hardly imagine not doing that next year. She has basically led me to believe that she just doesn’t want me to work there anymore. Honestly you would think after eight years things would be different.  Now I have the added stress of trying to find another job in a little over a month.  There are a couple of positions available so I’m trying to apply quickly so that I can be considered for them. I just have to pray that it’s in God’s plan for me to get another job before next year.