What If

I don’t really like to engage in the “what if” game because honestly there is no peace in it. I do have one decision that I made as a young adult of 20 that I have always wondered about. I was living with my first love and he wanted to give me a promise ring. We had already even planned out what day we were going to get married. The problem with the whole thing is that we were too young. We were very much in love but I just wasn’t ready to have my whole life planned out for me. I felt like I still need to live and experience new things. I still wanted to meet new people. As much as I loved him, and had loved him for six years, I walked away. I knew in my heart that once I walked away that was it for us. After six years we both went our separate ways. I ended up getting married at 23 and he waited a bit longer. We both ended up divorced and we found each other again in 2007. At the time I was going through a divorce and he was about to get married again. We formed a close friendship and we have tried to stay close since then with a few bumps in the road here or there. Of course in the back of my mind I have always wondered what if I hadn’t walked away? What if we would have gotten married when we planned on it? Would my life be different now? I will never know!!!

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