As the first week of school begins to narrow down, I am confronted with complete and total exhaustion. Between getting up at 5am every morning to walk two miles before school, and then walking over 17,000 steps every day for the last three or four days I’m completely exhausted. My feet feel like they are going to fall off and frankly I’m not sure how I will ever make it through this weekend and my trip with my mom. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I told her that I would go with her this weekend. Honestly all I really want to do is come home tomorrow night and be by myself for awhile. I just really need to recharge for awhile. School is not helping either because I have had so much to do this week for my class in addition to dealing with the first week of school as a teacher. I know I will get it all done because that is the type of person that I am but that doesn’t change the fact that I am completely stressed about it at the moment. I am actually glad I don’t have any plans for Monday because at least I can get a head start on next week’s assignments before I go back to work next week.
Tomorrow I will embark on my 10th year of teaching. The start of this year is different than most of the others because I am honestly not sure what to expect. I had a rough year last year and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go back to my same school but I ultimately decided I would give it another year. The last two weeks during in-service have been great because I really love the people I work with. The thing I am dreading is the students coming into class tomorrow. I really don’t enjoy the students at my new school the way I did the ones at my previous school. I am also in school again myself which just adds to the chaos of my life. I have literally spent the majority of the weekend working on things for my job and my class. I am so lucky to have these incredible children of mine that are so supportive of everything I want to do. I am actually feeling pretty good about myself as a whole because I have been walking two miles every morning and trying to eat better. I have lost a couple of pounds and my outlook has increased tremendously. I am not sure how this year is going to go with my students or my classes but I do know that my kids see me as an unstoppable force so if I hold onto to that thought than I should be able to do anything.
So both of my teenagers went back to school today. My daughter started her junior year and my son started his freshman year. I can honestly say the year hasn’t exactly started without a hitch. My daughter’s schedule got changed yesterday afternoon and now she is in some random Astronomy class she didn’t sign up for. The problem is that she will need another science class but Astronomy is really not going to help her in the future. I am hoping things will get worked soon. My son is having issues with his schedule as well. It is so frustrating as a parent that both my children’s schedules are messed up at the beginning of school.
As a teacher I find it just as frustrating when I have students that have similar issues. I definitely wouldn’t want to trade with the counselors but their job has some frustrating consequences.
I haven’t had my first official day back yet because we are still in-service. My students come back on Monday and I can honestly say I feel completely unprepared. I am really hoping that things start getting better over the next few days for all three of us. I can’t believe that I am about to start my tenth year of teaching or that I am about to go back to school again myself.
Today started much better than yesterday because I was able to walk 2 miles before I went to work. The professional development sessions I attended today were actually pretty useful. I absolutely hate data but I will say that we used the data for a beneficial purpose. We actually met with all the English teachers from 5th-12th Grade this morning. It was interesting to see that some of the problems we experience in high school have been problems all the way through. This afternoon we took the data from this morning and we worked on our scope and sequence for this year. My department is actually going to attempt to read Catcher in the Rye this year with juniors. It will be interesting to see whether or not we are able to get approval to read it. I guess you could say that being back at work isn’t so bad.
On another note I have started seeing my ex-boyfriend in a casual dating kind of way. It is interesting because when we are together it is a lot like it was when we were in a serious relationship but we just don’t talk as often when we’re not together. I am surprised at how easy this whole thing is on me. I don’t normally like casual dating but with everything I have going on right now it makes life easier. I had already decided that I wasn’t even going to attempt to meet anyone new until after the first of the year. We enjoy each others’ company and we have great sex. Now that I am going to be in school again I really don’t have time to start a new relationship. I need to be focusing on my kids, my job and school. Going out with my ex is just kind of a bonus.
So as a teacher I have been enjoying some much needed time off since the beginning of June, all that came to a glaring halt today when I had to go back to work. Of course it was par for the course that I would barely sleep last night because of all the nervous energy associated with going back to work. So as my alarm went off at 5:45 this morning so that I could get in a 2 mile walk, I was already tired. To add insult to injury, It started pouring down rain so I was unable to get my morning walk in. I left my house around 7 to head to work. Work consisted of sitting in meetings almost all day. After losing my morning walk and then sitting all day, my step count is at a severe deficit for the day. As if all that wasn’t enough I have also been having the worst cramps today. It wasn’t a bad day just a rough day. the first day back is always a bit brutal but at least it’s over and I can move on to the next day. This year we have two weeks of in-service which seems almost masochistic but hopefully it won’t be too bad. I did find out today that I have been accepted to a program at Sam Houston State University to get certified to teach Dual Credit English. I can’t wait to start school again this fall!!
As technological advances continue it seems like we have less privacy everyday. People post all about their lives and even this blog in a way is a form of relinquishing privacy. Tonight I started watching The Circle with my kids. It is so crazy how much people are willing to sacrifice their own privacy. People have no idea how scary technology could become. I read an article from “The New Yorker” three years ago and it talked about a society where everyone’s information is available to everyone else. I read it in class with my juniors and I had one of the best conversations about the article. My students and my kids will be more impacted by technology than I have in my life.
I grew up with television at the onset of VCR’s and then watched them evolve into DVD’s. My parents had a car with an eight track, then cassette tapes, compact discs, and then bluetooth media streamed through the car. When I was really young computers were really new and very expensive but now computers are affordable and basically every where. I remember when landlines were all we had and now we only have cell phones in my house.
Technology has advanced exponentially in my life but I can’t even imagine what things will be like by the time my kids are my age. I really hope that my kids will be able to protect themselves from the dangers of technology. As I continue to get older, I worry more about what I reveal to the world about my life. I love to write which is why I write this blog but at the same time I purposely limit the information that I reveal about my real life. I never use the names of my kids of the name of my school. I do post pictures but I rarely use names of anyone that is close to me. I want to respect my privacy even though I write about my life. I don’t write as much as I used to but I still enjoy writing. I think the writing is my best form of therapy. Of course I have come to realize that I don’t enjoy writing as much or as often when my life is going really well. It seems like I write more when things aren’t so good in my life. At present my life is a bit strange. I’m not really not happy or sad. I have literally been in a total funk all summer and I’m just now getting out of it. I am totally making a change in my life. Life is about me and my kids right now. Now is the time to focus on what’s important in life!!