Changes

The honeymoon is definitely over in our relationship. I wouldn’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing but it does change one’s perspective. I see his faults for what they are and I also realize that our situation is not easy. We have eight children between the two of us and we live forty-five minutes away from each other. In addition to all of that he owns his own business and he works all the time. The end of March and the beginning of April were difficult because we barely saw each other. Lately that’s gotten better though. Although I guess you could say I am still apprehensive because I feel like things are changing in other ways too. He is so preoccupied lately with his job. I asked him if we were okay and he said that he thinks so. He told me that he always gets really busy this time of year and so he focuses on his business. I want to believe that everything is okay because I really love him but deep down I have a nagging sense of uneasiness. I’m trying really hard to have faith but with everything that has happened in the past it is really hard. I know I can’t live in my past and I also can’t keep making him pay for my past. I think the fact that work has been so stressful lately isn’t helping our situation. I will really be glad when the school year is over. I’m not sure my relationship is going to survive but I refuse to sabotage it by stressing constantly. We still make plans for the future and he’s still extremely affectionate when we’re together. I just hope that we can continue to make things work between us despite our many obstacles.

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