Favorite Child

I honestly never think about which of my children is my favorite. I have favorite students and favorite classes but I wouldn’t say I have a favorite child. Friday night my boyfriend took the kids and I out to dinner. While we were at dinner, we got into this conversation about favorite children. My boyfriend has six and he claims that he hates all his kids equally.  I know that is far from the truth because he is a really good father. Both of my kids claim to know that I not only have a favorite but that my favorite is my son.  It was very interesting that they would say that because I don’t feel that way at all. I love both of my kids so much in different ways. I have the most amazing relationship with my daughter which I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. She is not only my daughter but I would also consider her a friend. I will say that things have never been easy between us but I have always been willing to put in the effort to be close to her. My relationship with my son is different because we are more similar but I wouldn’t say we are as close. My son has always been pretty secretive and it has always bothered me that we aren’t closer. I feel like I love my kids the way they need to be loved. I read an article years ago that says you can never love everyone the same. You have to love your children they way they need to be loved not the way that you want to be loved. My daughter needs more one on one attention because of her anxiety but my son usually just needs to be left alone. Of course there are times that I reach out to both of them for me. Honestly since my first divorce my kids and I have been this unit. I love the closeness I share with them but I worry that when they are gone I will be lost. My boyfriend actually gives me hope that I can be happy in the future. I want to share my life with someone special and still be part of my children’s lives. It has been such a long time since I have really lived my life for me. I became a mother almost 16 years ago and every since then I have been living for these little people in my life that are almost grown. I can hardly believe that my daughter will go away to college in two years and that my son starts high school in the fall. Favorite or not I know that I will be lost when my daughter goes away to college. I still ascertain that I don’t have a favorite because I strongly believe that both my kids are such a blessing.

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