I don’t get it at all. I miss the days when people would actually communicate how they feel. I am so tired of people telling me how much they like me and then they just disappear. I am an adult and it’s not like I can’t handle rejection but there is a difference between rejection and just not responding to someone anymore. I sort of get it with younger people because they don’t think about the relationships the same way but it seems like we’ve all turned into a bunch of cowards that can’t be honest about how they feel. Online dating has created a world where everyone hides behind a device and judges someone without all the facts. It is so easy to discount someone because of the way they look or something in their profile. I am honestly so done. I used to think online dating worked but now I think it sucks. I am 42 years old and I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I know I am a good person and I would just love to meet a quality person. There are far too many men out there these days that are just using people. I think I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than to keep dealing with the utter bullshit that I have experienced over the last few months on Match.com. My subscription expires in a couple more weeks and I am definitely not renewing it. Dating has just gotten entirely too complicated to deal with these days. I miss the simple days where you met someone and then you figured out whether or not you were meant to be. You spent time with someone and you actually got to know them. I miss the days when a relationship wasn’t just about text messages. Sometimes I think technology has really ruined interpersonal relationships. I have to believe that my fairy tale is still out there. I may spend the rest of my life trying to find it but I can’t just give up on what my heart desires most. I know that kids and I are going to be trying a new church or two so maybe I will meet someone at church. I just can’t do the online dating thing anymore. The whole experience is just making me doubt myself. The crazy thing is that I have been thinking about my ex lately. I know that we don’t need to be together and we’re not good for each other but there are things about him I still miss. I wonder if I will ever meet anyone that makes me feel the way he did. I sat in my testing room thinking about him today. It seems like he always comes into my thoughts when I let my mind wander. Now that I am changing churches I have absolutely no reason to see him. I hope not seeing him at all will make him fade even more from my life. Life changes every day but I know that right now I have to focus on my children because love just doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me.