Sin

So as I was sitting in church this morning I got to thinking about sin. I know that we are all sinners in the eyes of God. I have sinned so many times that I am ashamed to even admit it. God doesn’t want people having sex outside of marriage but I have been guilty of this sin for a very long time. I have to say that I lost my virginity at the age of 17 and I never really thought about the fact that God didn’t want us to have sex outside of marriage. I have been in a few relationships outside my two marriages and they both included a sexual component. I am ashamed to say that when it comes to sex I am weak. I know that we are all weak in one way or another. I guess all this realization does have a point though, I am worried about my daughter. I know that the bible says it’s wrong to engage in homosexuality. I also know that when I was in my twenties I had several relationships with women. I ultimately met my first husband and I got married and never looked back. I also know that my daughter is struggling with some of the same issues that I had in my twenties. I worry about how people at church will respond to her when they know that she is struggling with her sexuality. I don’t want my daughter to turn away from God. Ultimately homosexuality is no worse a sin than premarital sex but I also know that people don’t see it that way. I want her faith to grow and I’m worried that it won’t if people start treating her differently. I want to be able to support her but in my heart of hearts I just don’t want that life for her. I want her to be happy.  I just don’t know how to reconcile my feelings with her situation. I know that I will just have to continue to pray about it. I also know that I need to pray for myself. I need to pray that I can be stronger when it comes to sex and relationships. I need to stop giving pieces of me away to people that won’t still be around in the future. I need to work hard to live the life that God wants me to live as a woman and a mother. My children are my most important job and I need to pray for God’s guidance as they continue to go through all the struggles of being teenagers.

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