What does it mean to have a second chance? Is it possible to have a second chance at love? I thought my feelings for my ex were behind me but now I’m not so sure. I spent some time with him this weekend and honestly I feel like nothing has changed between us even though we havent spent time together in months. I don’t want to have a casual relationship with anyone because it’s just not worth the effort. I refuse to put myself in a position where i put all my focus on my ex again. We don’t work together anymore and I finally have a chance to move on. I let myself go against my promise and contact him the other night. I don’t plan on doing that again if I can help it. I want to be friends with him but I don’t need to be sucked back in to the same situation we were in before.
So for the last five days the kids and I have been walking. I did a lot of walking in Bolivia so it has been great walking at home. My son has been an almost constant walking companion but my daughter has only walked with us a few timed.
This is my son standing on a light pole in the elementary school parking lot! Through our walks we have discovered a beautiful veterans memorial near our neighborhood.
My son and I took this selfie during one of our walks at the memorial site.
I love this picture because it shows the whole memorial. Each section represents a different branch of the service.
This is a closeup of the war cross.
I took this picture because it reminds me of my ex. He spent 12 years in the US Air Force.
Of course the US Navy reminds me of my dad. My dad spent 10 years on active duty and 24 years in the reserves. I feel really close to my dad when I visit this memorial. It is so nice to have such a special place to visit so close to home. I will really miss my kids and our walks when they are with their dad this weekend.
So this time last week I was preparing for the trip home from Cochabamba, Bolivia. I have been home almost a week and it has been insane. I literally hit the ground running as soon as I got home. In less than a week I have had my exit interview with my old school district, visited my mom, gotten my hair done and had both my kids hair cut. I traveled with my mom and the kids to Cedar Creek lake to pack up the trailer. Today I had to take my car in to get some repairs. I have at least had some down time today which has been good since it’s the first time all week. I knew it was going to be crazy once I got home but I never dreamed it would be this bad. I’m really hoping that next week is not quite as crazy. I have to meet with my new school district for orientation next week and I’m having lunch with my new department head.
I miss Bolivia but I am definitely getting back into the swing of things at home. It has been great to spend time with my kids after being gone for six weeks.
Of course I had a text that was quite a surprise last night and I wonder what the motivation was behind it. I guess I will just have to wait and see how it plays out like always. Life is good and I look forward to seeing what the future has in store for me.
So I came to Bolivia to work with students. I never dreamed that in the process I would have so many people touch my life. Today should have been a work day but my students at the Projects Abroad Office wanted to do something different! We traveled to one of their friend’s houses and we had saltenas which are a pastry similar to an empanda filled with a beef stew of sorts. They were delicious. After we ate we took a picture.
I came home for lunch and then I rushed off to the university because we were going on a field trip. We ended up going to the Cristo de LA Concordia Statue. It was really amazing.
After we walked all over the grounds of the statue we went out for coffee and a snack.
It was such a wonderful day and I’m so glad I got to share it with these students.
My first love has been in my life off and on since I was 14. He has played various roles in my life depending on the circumstances but his most consistent role is that of friend. He’s not my best friend because we don’t see each other all the time but he’s what I would call a lifelong friend. We can go forever without seeing each other and pick up right where we left off before. He’s been giving me a lot of advice lately in regards to my love life. I think it bothers him that I’m not in a relationship that’s happy and healthy. He wants me to let go of my ex and leave myself the chance to meet someone new. The crazy thing about the whole situation is that I have tried that so many times without success. I can see the writing on the wall and I know my ex and I aren’t ever going to get back together but its still hard to let go! When school starts this year I will be at a new school and for the first time in four years my ex and I won’t be working together. I know God has a plan for me and I have to trust that he will take care of me and bring the right people into my life. The beauty of being at a new school means that I have the potential to make some new friends. I go home in ten days and I need to make some changes in my life. I have to stop hanging on to the past and look forward to the future. I made a bucket list for myself last night and I intend to work on completing it while making myself the best version of me! Life is short and I’m done making excuses for the people who continually hurt me in my life. It is time to find a new path because the old one is worn thin.
So after spending half the week trying to fight off a cold only to end up in bed all day Friday and Saturday, I finally feel human again. Today I have been trying to eat a little bit while still not over exerting myself! I am very tired today and I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I’m hoping if I can just stay up the majority of the day then I will sleep better tonight. I have to go back to work tomorrow so its important that I’m actually feeling better. The whole experience with being sick and having to actually see a doctor in a foreign country has been really strange. I think you really miss home when you’re sick. I’m lucky though because Susana has taken wonderful care of me. I’m still not sorry that I came to Bolivia but I really wish I could have avoided getting sick. I’m just so thankful that I’m feeling better.
So for the last few days I haven’t really been feeling all that great. This morning I woke up feeling terrible. I’m so congested and my left eye is watering constantly. I canceled my class this morning because I felt so bad. I think the worst feeling of this situation is that I’m not at home. I feel terrible that I can’t just crawl in my own bed and forget about the world like I could at home. I have been resting all morning and I hope I start feeling better. I hope getting lots of rest will be enough to make me feel better. I really don’t want to have to go to a doctor.