Last Looks

You know I have heard it said so many times that you never know when it will be the last time that you share a moment with someone.  The last time you will kiss them or make love to them.  You don’t realize that eventually you will reach a point where the person you love no longer looks at you the same. Today I was talking to my best friend and I described my ex’s reaction to walking away from me right before I left for Spain.  I told him how strange he looked at me and how much he acted like he would never see me again. I was totally confused and I didn’t understand what it meant.  My best friend explained to me today that he probably knew it was the last time that we would ever be together.  My best friend said that he probably knew I would be different after I got home from Spain.  I have been different since I got home from Spain.  I have reacted to everything that has to do with the ex differently since I got home. I don’t go out of my way to see him or talk to him.  We have only texted a few times since I’ve been home but I haven’t spent any time with him outside school functions. I haven’t really noticed the changes in myself but apparently there are some noticeable changes. I’m not sure that I will ever be with him again but that last morning I saw that look on his face and I think it will forever haunt me. I know that I need to move past him but it is so hard to let go of someone when you love them as much as I love him. I know that I am a stronger person now than I was a few months ago! I leave for Bolivia in 35 days and getting away from everything will be so good for me!

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