So as I sat down to write tonight I realized that I was supposed to be married on Saturday. It is really strange when I think about everything that has happened since August when my fiance and I split up. I should never have gotten engaged or agreed to marry him but it is still a loss in my life. He was my best friend for a year. He is probably my soulmate, not because I was so in love with him but more because he knows me better than anyone else ever has before. He truly understood me inside and out. He knew how to deal with my changing moods and my incredibly fickle attitude when it comes to intimacy. We loved each other very much but we weren’t right for each other in terms of a relationship. Now I am reminded of the plans we had made! It seems like another lifetime ago now but yet its right there on the surface! I leave for Spain on Saturday which is a good thing because I honestly need to get away from everything and everybody right now!