Loneliness and Loss

I find myself in such an odd position right now because my mom and I are going through similar circumstances. My mom lost my dad after almost 59 years of marriage and now she’s alone. I have been divorced for two and a half years and I’m alone too. My mom started going to the senior center near her house and she has met a lot of new people.  She has even met a male friend that she has spent some time with.  The problem is that she’s not sure how to deal with being single again after all these years.  She is having such a hard time navigating the ins and outs.  She says she doesn’t want to get married again but she is very lonely.  I try to encourage her but it is difficult because despite the fact that I know how it feels to be single, I can’t even relate to what she’s going through after all those years of marriage.  I feel for her because sometimes she is so sad and lost.  My dad’s birthday is on Sunday which also happens to be Valentine’s Day.  This is the first birthday since my dad passed away.  She told me earlier today that this has been a hard week for her already.  I know how she feels because I will also be alone on Valentine’s Day.  The major difference is that I haven’t been married as long as she was to my dad. It is funny in away because part of me is glad that I don’t have to worry about doing the right thing in a relationship because i never know about Valentine’s Day.  My dad always told my mom that he didn’t have to buy her a valentine because she had one every day of the year.  I guess you could say Valentine’s Day was always about my dad and not about romance.  I have been married twice and neither of my husbands ever really made a big deal about Valentine’s Day either.  My ex treated Valentine’s Day like an afterthought which is apparently how he deals with most gifts.  My kids will be home this weekend which is a good thing but I still feel like my life is completely devoid of romance.  It would be such a nice change to meet someone that was actually romantic.  Life is short and I’m not going to let myself be sad about not having a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.  I’m more upset about not having my dad on his birthday.

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