Confusing Feelings

Today I still feel sad about what happened with the paramedic.  I just wish he would’ve taken the time to tell me what happened.  I’ve only known him a few weeks but it still feels bad to be told that it’s over without knowing why. Life is short and I’m not going to spend a lot of time stressing about it but it does bother me a little.  He seemed like such a nice guy.  Could I have really been that wrong about him?  Did I do something to upset him on Sunday when I left? Or was it something entirely different that has nothing to do with me?

I refuse to contact him anymore because that would just be stupid but nothing is worse in my opinion than not knowing how someone feels.

On another note I talked to my ex again today.  We have only talked about work but it is nice to have a casual conversation with him.  He knows me really well and it feels good to talk to him about stuff that is going on. I know that I can’t let myself get back into the same situation I was in with him before.  I still love him so much but I know that we can’t be together and I deserve to be with someone that wants to be with me.  I can’t keep waiting around for him to change his mind about us.

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22 comments

  1. Dan · February 3, 2016

    Maybe I can share something that will give you a little insight on dealing with men and relationships, regardless of the circumstances. It’s one of my favorites reads and something that has stuck with me ever since…
    https://dan1973blog.wordpress.com/2016/01/29/fuck-yes-or-no

    Like

    • isyheath · February 3, 2016

      I read your article. I have to say it was very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        My pleasure. Hopefully it will help when encountering these all-to-confusing scenarios of trying to figure people out.

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        I have come to realize that at my age men just play games. Sometimes I think I am just better on my own.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        People play games at all ages, trust me. But setting standards for yourself will only help you avoid more potential game players in your future. It appears that you’ve dealt with enough of them lately.

        Like

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        Yes I have had my share of bullshit from men in the last three years but I’m strong and I continue to survive. My ex has caused me the most grief because we work together and go to church together. It doesn’t matter what i do I can’t get away from him. Last fall we explored getting back together but it only turned into sex and heartache. Life is to short to keep dealing with stupid bullshit!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        Sure is… So remember F*ck Yes or No! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        I’ll try but sometimes that is easier said than done. The most recent guy was all into me and was talking about the future and then all of a sudden yesterday he tells me that things aren’t going to work out with no explanation. I just wish he would have told me why!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        But it also sounds like you might not be in the place for that? Maybe he picked up on that but didn’t know how to talk to you further about it… or maybe he was just a coward about it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        You mean I’m not in a place for a new guy because of my ex? Maybe that’s true I have been talking to the ex all afternoon and evening!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        That is a possibility, yes.

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        Before yesterday I hadn’t spoken to my ex in over two weeks! I really liked the new guy and wanted to try and make it work and he just shut down without an explanation! I just don’t get that!!

        Like

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        That’s still a very short period of time in the big picture. You should firmly decide if your done with the old before inviting the new, and stick to that. If the new guy new much about this, it may have scared him off.

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        The new guy didn’t really know anything about the ex! I decided before the first of the year that I needed to move on from the ex! I know it’s a short amount of time but I really was trying to make it work!

        Like

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        If you want to move on, it’s probably best for you to break contact for awhile so you can allow yourself to put the past to rest. If you keep juggling old and new, you’re not going to heal.

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        True but he can be an amazing friend and he knows me really well!

        Like

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        True! If you can keep him in the friends zone area of your mind. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        That is the key!!! In the past that is where we have both failed! We start out as friends and end up in bed!

        Like

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        Yes, that’s how it always seems to go. Try a different approach now that you have recognized the pattern of behavior.

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        I am going to try! He’s hard to resist though! He’s the only man I’ve ever known that makes me weak at the knees!

        Like

      • Dan · February 3, 2016

        And… has a serious respect problem when it comes to treating you well. Don’t forget why he’s an ex. Good luck in your decisions!

        Liked by 1 person

      • isyheath · February 3, 2016

        Thanks

        Like

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