Understanding

I think that I have come to realize that not all men are the same.  The paramedic startled me when he referred to us as a relationship because I’m not used to that anymore.  The ex was always so noncommittal about everything even when we were making plans.  I never knew whether or not he was going to bail on me at the last minute.  The paramedic has a crazy schedule but I think I can believe it when he says he wants to see me and spend time with me.  He actually talks about the future which is a nice change from what I’m used too.  I don’t know whether or not he’s actually my boyfriend or not but I’m ok with that because I know we are communicating about things.  We actually talked about Easter last night which is like two months away.  I told him if he felt comfortable with it that I would make his son an Easter Basket the way I always make them for my kids.  I want his son to actually feel like a woman can care about him since he doesn’t have that with his mom. I think I actually like the idea of being in a relationship again.  It has definitely been awhile since I actually felt like I was involved with anyone.  He is so supportive of my summer plans and he even seems excited for me about my trip to Spain.  It is so nice to be around someone that I feel really supports me continuously and not just when it’s convenient for him.

On another note, one of my longest friends lost her father yesterday.  I feel so horrible for her because she lost her mom almost 15 years ago.  Her dad has been suffering from Alzheimer’s which has been really difficult but I know it was hard for her to lose him completely.  I guess I was really lucky with my dad because he knew me all the way up until the end. I know I have to go to the funeral which means I may not get to see the paramedic this weekend but I know that he will understand because he’s a good guy.

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