Moving On

How do you really know when it’s time to move on?  I want to be in love again.  I haven’t felt like I was really in love in more than two years.  After Thanksgiving two years ago my ex came back from his dad’s house acting completely different about everything.  He started telling me that we shouldn’t be having sex and putting all these odd restrictions on us.  I was so confused and quite frankly I was hurt.  It felt like a total rejection from someone that I loved completely.  Needless to say that was probably the beginning of the end for us.  Looking back on things now I should probably have broken up with him then.  I should have realized that whatever we had was diminishing as the days passed. We stayed together until the end of March but things were never the same.  When we finally broke up I had a complete complex about sex because of what happened between us.  I felt guilty every time I had sex with someone else.  Then I met my best friend and he took over my life.  I spent the last year worrying about him and trying to take care of him because I loved him.  I wasn’t in love with him like I was my ex but I did love him very deeply.  He finally betrayed me beyond the point of me being able to trust him when he lied to me.  Now I’m completely at a crossroads because I’ve cut my best friend out of my life and I think it’s just about time to do the same thing with my ex.  I have other people that are interested in me which is really cool but scary at the same time.  I deserve to be happy.  I deserve to spend time with someone that can accept me for who I am.  I deserve to have someone love me and be able to love them back.  I don’t know what the future holds but I’m starting to see that it’s possible that it is someone new.

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