Alone Time

I haven’t spoken to my ex in more than three days.  I saw him briefly in the hall on Monday at school but other than that I have had no contact.  It’s funny because I didn’t even realize it until this morning.  I knew I hadn’t talked to him but I didn’t realize it had been three days.  I have been so busy with school and work that I have barely had time to think about him.  I was thinking about him this morning and an old song came to mind.  I decided that I would include it here.

I haven’t heard this song in so long but it completely matched my thoughts and feelings about him as I drove to school this morning.  I had to download it on my new phone because I needed to hear it.  He is obviously completely oblivious to how I feel about anything which honestly shouldn’t surprise me but it did.  I told him Saturday night that I get it.  He doesn’t feel the same way about me that I feel about him.  I told him that I should quit setting myself up for disappointment.  I wish things were different.  I wish he would just make us a priority in his life but that is never going to happen.  I should realize that from our past but I wanted to believe that I could get back what we had in the beginning of our relationship over two years ago.  You can never get the past back though.  I would even settle for a new beginning but that;s not really in the cards either.  I’m not completely closing myself off to him because I know that truth be told I can’t.  I can’t change the way he makes me feel.  I can’t change the fact that I’m still completely in love with him.  The one thing I can change is how I choose to deal with all of it.  It has been three days and I’m fine.  I finish school in less than a week.  I don’t have time for him right now anyway!!!!

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