Sadness

It is amazing to me how quickly sadness can take over your heart.  My life has changed so much in the last few years.  I feel like I have spent so much time worrying about my family and the roller coaster ride of parental loss. I am in my last three weeks of my last class of grad school but it is so hard to focus. Thursday I had a horrible night because I got really upset about my dad.  The closer I get to graduation the worse it gets for me emotionally.  This morning I completely broke down while I was on the phone with my mom. I don’t like doing that because it just upsets her.  Life is just overwhelming right now.  Work is crazy busy with all kinds of demands on me and school is in insane.  The kids want to do so many things and all I want to do right now is escape it all.  I think the one thing that would make me happy today is if I could go to a haunted house and just forget my life for awhile.  Last night I went to a football game to support my high school and i really had a lot of fun.  I spent a lot of the night with my ex but it wasn’t just him that made it fun.  I was also sitting with one of my favorite parents.  She lost her father yesterday and I think being with her last night just brought up more of the stuff I was already feeling about my dad.  I just feel really alone right now.  I need to feel better but I just don’t know how to do that right now.

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