Loss

What is the best way to deal with loss?  How do you let go of guilt? I lost my father four months ago and part of me feels like an eternity but the other part of me feels like it was just yesterday.  I am only three weeks away from finishing my master’s, provided that I can stay focused, but I am horribly sad that I have to walk across the stage without him there to see me.  My dad has always been one of my biggest critics and he was so proud of me when I started my master’s program and it just doesn’t seem fair that he won’t be there to share in my accomplishment.  I know that everyone keeps telling me that he will be there because he will definitely be in my heart that day but it isn’t the same as being able to give him a hug. I just wish I could have one more conversation.  One more opportunity to tell him everything he meant to me.  My dad and I always had a strained relationship since I was about fourteen.  We butted heads about everything and we both wanted our own way.  We were both only children and we were both spoiled.  i know my dad loved me but he never showed me the way my mom did.  I know that although I’m sad today, I will have to wake up tomorrow and deal with my life head on.  I can’t allow myself to fail just because I miss my dad.

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